Crossroads

      Today, my life is in a really awesome yet strange place. I feel like I have all these ideas buzzing around in my head. Not in a manic way, but in like a limitless potential way. Yet I find myself coming upon my own mental blocks. For example, I really want to be come a piercer and do body art on people professionally, I have floating around the idea, I have contacted one shop and found out how hard an internship of that nature is to come by. But this time I am determined not to give up. I am also in school for education, working on my BA, I realize that I need a degree, but I also believe there is no such thing as too many skills and abilities. My current plan is to finish my BA and devote myself to learning how to pierce post college. What I am learning how to do is find the courage to do the things I want to do and need to do that make me afraid. The more the risk the better the reward.
            I have taken some risks in my life and I have found them to be extremely rewarding in the long run. I think the greatest risk I will take will be the piercing endeavor. I am grateful and amazed about how far I have come in recent years, the fact that I have all these ideas and goals, and I am seeing them manifest themselves in my life is amazing in the past there all this fear, nothing ever got done, and I was miserable. Now there is so much I want do, So many places I want to travel to, people I want to me, projects I want to do etc... I simply can't find the time for all of them. I know it's time to sit back and enjoy the ride, it is time to see life as a journey. God has a plan for me, I haveto  trust with all of my being and more will be revealed. Perhaps there is something wonderful coming down the pipe. Something I haven't even thought of yet.
           Sometimes I struggle with the fear. Fear that things aren't going to get better. But then, I have to remind myself. Fear is a human nature. The courage comes from doing it anyway, even if it hurts, even if it doesn't work out. At least if it doesn't work out I can say I tried, I met my fear, looked it in the face, and tired. It's never too late. I am met for meeting my full potential. The most important thing for me is just learning to be happy. I am on my way but  I'm not there yet. Someday, I will get to this place, this feeling where I want to be, it will come together for me, and then it will be time to start a new adventure.